I Like Nonviolent Communication
Hello, friends!
This week’s edition of “Things I Like” is all about nonviolent communication (NVC), a simple yet transformative approach to how we talk and connect with one another. Developed by psychologist Marshall Rosenberg, NVC is more than just a set of communication tools—it’s a mindset that fosters empathy, understanding, and authenticity in every interaction. Whether you’re navigating a tough conversation with a loved one, setting boundaries, or simply trying to express your needs, NVC offers a framework that promotes connection instead of conflict.
What Is Nonviolent Communication?
At its core, nonviolent communication focuses on understanding and expressing our own needs while also considering the needs of others. It’s based on four key components:
Observation: Identifying what’s happening in a situation without judgment or interpretation.
Feelings: Recognizing and naming your emotions in response to what you observe.
Needs: Understanding the underlying needs driving those feelings.
Requests: Making clear, actionable requests to meet those needs without demanding or coercing.
By focusing on these elements, NVC helps us shift from a blame-centered approach to one that fosters mutual understanding and collaboration.
Why I Like It
One of the things I love about NVC is how it transforms conversations. So often, conflict arises from misunderstanding or miscommunication. NVC helps us pause, reflect, and reframe. Instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” NVC encourages us to express it like this: “When I share something and it’s not acknowledged, I feel unheard because I need to feel valued in this conversation. Could you repeat back what you heard me say?” This shift invites empathy rather than defensiveness.
NVC and Emotional Awareness
Another reason I’m drawn to NVC is how it deepens emotional awareness. It’s not always easy to identify what we’re feeling or needing, but NVC encourages us to look inward first. This self-awareness is a skill I emphasize in therapy, as it’s foundational to healthy relationships—with others and ourselves.
Fostering Connection and Reducing Conflict
NVC also emphasizes connection over being “right.” In heated moments, it’s tempting to argue or defend, but NVC helps us stay curious about the other person’s perspective. By focusing on their feelings and needs, we create space for mutual understanding. The beauty of this is that even disagreements can become opportunities to strengthen relationships, not harm them.
How to Get Started
Practicing NVC takes time, but it starts with small steps. Begin by observing situations without judgment. Name your feelings and needs, even if just to yourself at first. Practice making requests that are clear and non-demanding. Over time, you’ll notice a shift—not just in how others respond to you, but in how you respond to yourself.
Conclusion
Nonviolent communication is more than just a tool—it’s a philosophy of empathy, honesty, and connection. It reminds us that behind every feeling is a need, and behind every conflict is an opportunity for understanding. Thanks for joining me this week in “Things I Like.” Until next time, remember: know yourself, love yourself, and communicate with compassion.
