I Like Funerals
Hello, friends! I’m still trying to find the right tone for the “Things I Like” blog, so bear with me as I bounce around a bit. This one is inspired by something personal, which is that my grandmother died a few days ago and this Friday we’ll be having a funeral. This isn’t so much an effort to process my own grief as it is to consider the experience of funerals. A lot of people I know associate funerals with dread and sorrow. They are sad affairs that make us feel sad.
But I want to consider that this is actually a really beautiful thing. I’m distinguishing funerals here from “Celebrations of Life", which also have their place in the grief process. Let’s consider why we might greet funerals with a bit more openness.
Creating Space for Grief
One of the most important functions of a funeral is that it creates space for grief. In a world that often encourages us to “stay strong” and move on quickly, funerals offer a pause. They provide a structured environment where it’s not only okay but expected to feel, express, and share emotions. Whether it’s through a eulogy, a moment of silence, or simply being present with others who are mourning, funerals give us permission to sit with our grief rather than hide from it. This space is critical for processing loss in a healthy way.
A Collective Experience
Funerals are also a reminder that grief is not something we have to go through alone. They gather people—family, friends, and even acquaintances—who share in the sorrow of losing someone important. There’s a certain power in that collective experience. When we see others grieving alongside us, it reminds us that the loss isn’t just ours to carry. The shared emotions create a sense of community and connection, making the weight of grief just a little lighter.
Honoring the Person We Lost
Another beautiful aspect of funerals is how they honor the life of the person we’ve lost. Funerals are storytelling rituals. Through shared memories, photos, and sometimes laughter, we celebrate who that person was. It’s a chance to reflect on their impact, and in doing so, we keep their memory alive. This ritual of remembrance can bring comfort because it shifts the focus from what we’ve lost to what we still hold in our hearts.
Moving Forward
Finally, funerals help us begin the process of moving forward. They mark the start of our journey toward healing. While the pain of loss doesn’t end when the service is over, the ritual itself offers a sense of closure. Funerals give us a moment to say goodbye, not just to the person, but to the initial shock of loss, allowing us to take the first step toward acceptance.
Conclusion
So, while funerals may not seem like something to “like” in the traditional sense, they are a vital part of how we navigate the hardest moments of life. They create space for our grief, connect us with others, honor the person we’ve lost, and offer a path toward healing. Thanks for joining me this week in “Things I Like.” Until next time, remember: know yourself, love yourself, and when it’s time, allow yourself to grieve. -j
